Introspection Sessions: What do I want to do for a living?

I’m 21 years old. That’s pretty young in the grand scheme of things. I graduated two years ago from college at 19, also young, and (maybe like most people) I didn’t really know what I wanted to do yet afterward.

The knowledge that allows me to soldier on is the fact that I love to write. It really does make me feel good to type away on my keyboard and express my thoughts on a digital canvas. But there are questions that have been poking me that I don’t think I’ve gotten the answer to yet: What is it I’m passionate writing about? Is writing the only thing I’m going to pursue in my life? Why don’t I feel complete, doing what I love for a living? What is lacking?

I took some time to internalize this all, and nope, I still don’t have the answers–but I do want to share my insights. 🙂

1. I haven’t found that one thing for me, and maybe there isn’t
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When I was little, I was amazed by how the other kids would easily answer the question, “What do you want to be or do when you grow up?” They said something like, “I want to become a lawyer!” or “I want to cure the sick people.” or “I want to be an actress.” I could never answer that question, simply because I couldn’t pick! I wanted to dance, write, be a newscaster–I wanted to do a lot of things. I thought as I grew up, I’d realize what that one thing I wanted to be or do was. Until now, I still haven’t figured it out yet. I’m starting to think that little me was right all along, and I’m happier doing more than just one thing. And maybe it’s okay to be different. I salute other people who’ve figured out their paths, but maybe for me, there’s a lot on the road–and honestly, that thought excites me!

2. Time is invaluable, and it’s my top priority
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We all enter different phases of life. Two years ago, I was pretty excited to have an office job, embrace the routine (as I am more fond of doing), and work away. Now… I’m not sure if I can still say the same thing. Two years ago, I only had my career to think about. But with all the changes I went through this year, I realized I want to make room for a lot of other things as well. My priorities have shifted. I’m craving for even more flexibility than what I currently have. It could also be that I already fell out of love with my current job, and I’m now yearning for something new. I’m also feeling the longing to address my realization in #1 and start focusing my energy on the other things I want to nurture too. I want to make time for everything that matters. And since that’s what I want to do, why delay? Now is always the best time to start, stop, or restart. Maybe I’ll find myself wanting a 9-5 in the future again, or maybe not. Only time will tell.

3. Everyone has their own journey–comparing myself is unnecessary
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It’s really hard not to notice what other people are doing in their lives. And I have to admit that sometimes I let it get to me. But we are all living our own version of normal, our own version of struggles, and our own version of successes. We define these things, not other people. I’ve been shaped by unique experiences that no one else but I have dealt with. We all have stories to tell. And we should be proud! You and I are powerful, capable, and enough. I’m happy with where I am now, and I should focus on my life. Comparing myself (even though I can’t help it sometimes) really doesn’t do anything good for me. Instead, I do my best to turn those negative thoughts into something more encouraging. An inspiration. It’s challenging, but it’s proven to have a much better impact on me.

P.S. It’s okay to cry or have moments of weakness. Keep looking for the silver lining.

So there you have it. As always, when I finish writing, I feel this surge of calm. (This is the digital equivalent of meditation for me!) Hmm, I wonder what life will throw at me next. 🙂

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